Maxwell Connect: 7 Things You Can Do to Become More Interesting

06.18.10

Maxwell Connect: 7 Things You Can Do to Become More Interesting

If you want friends, show yourself friendly. If you want to connect with others, become the kind of person others want to connect with. Be the kind of communicator that you would like to hear. “Connectors,” says John Maxwell, “create an experience everyone enjoys.”

A big part of being an interesting person, is being interested in other people; making them feel interesting. You’ll be amazed how interesting you become to them.

In Everyone Communicates, Few Connect, Maxwell recommends seven things to make yourself more interesting. They were presented in the context of speaking to audiences, but as you will see, they have application to one-on-one communication as well.

1. Take Responsibility for Your Listeners. It is our responsibility to make our communication enjoyable. It is our job to add value to others. Ask “What can I do to involve others and draw them into the conversation?” He reminds us, “Creating positive, memorable experiences does more to connect families than just about anything else.”
2. Communicate In Their World. “If you want to get your message across, you have to learn how to communicate in someone else’s world…. Too often speakers are unwilling or unable to get out of their own world and say things from the perspective of their listeners.” You have to learn to connect what you want to say to what others’ needs are. “People don’t remember what we think is important; they remember what they think is important.”
3. Capture People’s Attention from the Start. People make quick judgments about us all the time. As Sonya Hamlin suggests in How to Talk So People Listen, “from the moment when others first meet us, they are consciously or unconsciously evaluating us and deciding whether to keep listening or simply dismiss us. She says, If we’re not captured by something in those first moments, it’s ‘Excuse me, I see a friend,’ and off they go.” If it’s all about us and our opinion, it’s more likely that they’ll look for the friend.
4. Activate Your Audience. Communicate energy and passion.
5. Say It So It Sticks. “If you want people to remember what you say, you need to say the right thing at the right moment in the right way.” Timing is important. Find common ground and say things in an interesting way. Pause. “Connecting with people is a two-way street. It is a dialogue, not a monologue.”
6. Be Visual. Paint vivid pictures in people’s minds. “Anything that can help people visually helps them to connect.”
7. Tell Stories. “Perhaps the most effective way to capture people’s interest and make the experience enjoyable when you talk, is to include stories….We use stories to make sense of our experience. And when we share them, we help people understand us, themselves, and their world.”

"There's different ways that you can measure people's greatness. And the way I like to measure greatness is: How many people do you affect? In your time on earth, how many people can you affect? How many people can you make want to be better? Or how many people can you inspire to want to do what you do?"

—Will Smith, Vanity Fair, July 1999

John Maxwell asks, “In the end, what good is our communication if its impact ends the moment we stop speaking?”

37 Startup Insights

Earlier this year, I had a chance to attend SxSW. One of the highlights of my trip was a startup dinner which included Jason Fried and David Heinemeier Hansson, the founders of 37signals. At the time, they had just come out with their new book "Rework". I had downloaded a copy to my Kindle, but hadn't had a chance to read it yet. Now I have. Twice. It's a great book. Lots of practical advice for entrepreneurs. I highly recommend it. My second time through, I decided to pull out some of my favorite parts.

You're encouraged to share your favorite insight by using the convenient "tweet" links next to each one.

37 "Signals" From 37 Signals

1) Great businesses have a point of view, not just a product or service. [tweet]
2) Writing a plan makes you feel in control of things you don’t actually control. [tweet]
3) You have the most information when you’re doing something, not before you've done it. [tweet]
4) Stuff that was impossible just a few years ago is simple today. [tweet]
5) Failure is not a prerequisite for success. [tweet]
6) Don’t make assumptions about how big you should be ahead of time. [tweet]
7) Don’t sit around and wait for someone else to make the change you want to see. [tweet]
8) When you build what you need, you can assess quality directly instead of by proxy. [tweet]
9) Solving your own problem lets you fall in love with what you’re making. [tweet]
10) What you do matters, not what you think or say or plan. [tweet]
11) When you want something bad enough, you make the time. [tweet]
12) The perfect time to start something never arrives. [tweet]
13) Start a business, not a startup. [tweet]
14) You need a committment strategy, not an exit strategy. [tweet]
15) Huge organizations talk instead of act, and meet instead of do. [tweet]
16) Build half a product, not a half-assed product. [tweet]
17) Getting to greatness starts by cutting out stuff that’s merely good. [tweet]
18) The real world isn’t a place, it's an excuse. It's a justification for not trying. [tweet]
19) The big picture is all you whould be worrying about in the beginning. Ignore the details. [tweet]
20) Decide. You’re as likely to make a great call today as you are tomorrow. [tweet]
21) The longer it takes to develop, the less likely it is to launch. [tweet]
22) It’s the stuff you leave out that matters. [tweet]
23) Focus on substance, not fashion. Focus on what won't change. [tweet]
24) When good enough gets the job done, go for it. [tweet]
25) When you make tiny decisions, you can't make big mistakes. [tweet]
26) Pour yourself into your product. [tweet]
27) You rarely regret saying no but you often regret saying yes. [tweet]
28) Better your customers grow out of your product, than never grow into them. [tweet]
29) You can’t paint over a bad experience with good marketing. [tweet]
30) All companies have customers. Fortunate companies have audiences too. [tweet]
31) Instead of out-spending your competitors, out-teach them. [tweet]
32) Let customers look behind the curtain. [tweet]
33) Leave the poetry in what you make, there is beauty in imperfection. [tweet]
34) Marketing is not a department, it's the sum total of everything you do. [tweet]
35) Don’t hire for pleasure; hire to kill pain. [tweet]
36) Don’t make up problems you don’t have yet. [tweet]
37) A business without a path to profit is a hobby. [tweet]
What are your favorite insights from Rework?

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